How to Manage Negative Emotions
Tips for Controlling Anger, Fear, Sadness and Other Bad Feelings
Jul 9, 2008
Are you an emotional person? Are you easily prone to jealousy, sadness, fear, anger, and even rage?
If you’re emotional, it’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re more emotional than most people. Realize God gave you emotions and they’re to be used.
It’s when they get in the way of truth that they need managing. In other words, if you don’t get control of your feelings you can hurt others, as well as yourself. And, you can also be deceived, resting on how you feel, rather than what’s actually true.
Be Honest about Your Feelings
Being honest with yourself is the first step. Too often people stuff their true feelings to cover up the truth. This only leads to damaging addictions, such as compulsive overeating or substance abuses. In other words, if you’re feeling sad, don’t try to convince yourself you’re not.
Identify the Emotion and Determine the Source
First, you need to identify the emotion you’re feeling. Are you feeling sad? Depressed? Angry? Fearful?
Often teachers working with small children, as well as children with special needs, have a selection of faces (depicting a range of different emotions including anger, jealousy, sadness, happiness, fear, etc.) Teachers (as well as therapists) ask, “Which face describes how you feel today?”
Once you identify the emotion, redirect your thoughts and energies in a positive direction. Next, ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way?” Once you’ve traced your feelings back to the source, it gives you a better perspective, allowing you to be human.
How to Channel Your Emotions in a Positive Direction
A few good channeling techniques may include….
- Removing yourself – Get away from what’s causing you to have negative emotions. Do anything to distance yourself from the person or situation making you upset.
- Doing something positive – If you have righteous anger over social issues, don’t just have a meltdown but do something constructive. Write a letter to a newspaper editor expressing your opinions; write your congressional representative, etc.
- Getting physical – Take a walk. Go bowling. Shoot basketball hoops. Run. Channel your bad feelings into something that releases endorphins. Neurotransmitters produced in the brain that reduce pain, endorphins can change a negative mood.
- Breathing deeply – First, get comfortable. Then slowly take in deep breaths, breathing in from your abdomen. This helps to still a racing pulse, as well as calm your mind. Check your muscle tension (especially in the shoulders, neck, and jaw.) As you relax any tight areas, picture a peaceful scene, centering your thoughts on positive images.
- Talking to someone –Whether it’s a trusted friend or professional, you need to talk out your feelings before you can heal. Look for a support group where you feel free to share your deepest emotions. The worst path you can take is to isolate and not reach out for help.
- Journaling – Journaling (writing out your feelings on paper) is an excellent way to manage your emotions. You don’t have to show anyone what you wrote. It’s just between yourself and God. Then, after you’ve released what’s bothering you, tear up your paper if you don’t need to rehearse it.
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