Decades after child abuse is over, people still suffer from depression, migraines, addictions and more use of health care services. Here's 5 ways to deal with past abuse.
The long-term effects of child abuse don’t disappear when the sexual, physical, or emotional abuse is over. Adult survivors of abusive childhood relationships use more health care services and may be more likely to struggle with depression, migraines, and smoking habits.
“What’s remarkable is that women with an average age in their late 40s still suffer from consequences of abuse that occurred decades ago,” says Dr Amy Bonomi from Ohio State University.
The Financial Costs of Past Child Abuse
The long-term effects of abusive childhood relationships go beyond mental, emotional, and physical stress. Women who were sexually abused spent an average of $382 more than women with no history of abuse. Women who were physically abused spent $502 more than women who weren’t abused.
Women who were both physically and sexually abused spent $790 more every year than women with no history of abuse.
The Emotional & Physical Costs of Past Child Abuse
The long-term effects of abusive childhood relationships include depression. Women with a history of abuse reported more physical problems and higher rates of obesity.
Adult survivors of abusive childhood relationships did not report higher incidences of heart disease, asthma, or diabetes.
5 Ways to Cope with Past Child Abuse
Adult survivors of child abuse may never forget what happened to them, but they can live healthy, powerful lives.
Talk about it. Whether counseling is an option or not, talking about it with support groups, close friends, and loved ones can help ease the pain. The long-term effects of child abuse can be alleviated by admitting feelings, memories, and hopes for the future.
Recognize unhealthy coping strategies. Overeating, shopping, drinking, drugs, unhealthy relationships, and fear of intimacy are unhealthy coping strategies. They may provide distraction from painful memories in the short-term, but they create problems in the long run.
Tell the doctor. Treating migraines or depression may be treated differently if the doctor is aware of past child abuse. Don’t let him or her shrug off the possible long-term effects of abusive childhood relationships: doctors aren’t always up on the latest research or psychological approaches to health care.
Read books and articles about child abuse. The more information you have about abusive childhood relationships, the better equipped you'll be to survive the long-term effects. And, consider guided imagery or alternative therapies that can help you cope with past child abuse.
Learn to live for today. At some point, letting go of the past is a healthy strategy. "Living well is the best revenge," said George Herbert. Focus on healthy adult relationships, figuring out who you are, and achieving your goals. Set aside the past and look ahead, to the future.
If you found Ways to Cope With Past Child Abuse helpful, try:
Source of financial, physical, and emotional costs of child abuse statistics: Ohio State University (2008, February 22). Women Who Suffered Child Abuse Spend More On Health Care. ScienceDaily.
The copyright of the article Ways to Cope with Past Child Abuse in Behavioural Therapy is owned by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen. Permission to republish Ways to Cope with Past Child Abuse in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
"The Financial Costs of Past Child Abuse The long-term effects of abusive childhood relationships go beyond
mental, emotional, and physical stress. Women who were sexually abused
spent an average of $382 more than women with no history of abuse. Women
who were physically abused spent $502 more than women who weren’t
abused.
Women who were both physically and sexually abused spent
$790 more every year than women with no history of abuse."
:isn't real clear. I am going to assume that this is stating that women
who have suffered from child abuse spend more money on consumer products a
year then those who haven't. Given the paragraph that begins this article
though I might think these numbers relate specifically to healthcare though
- both make some sense, though I'm not sure exactly what you're saying
here.
Good article, overall.
I'm not sure I agree
with Dr. Amy Bonomi's statement that its remarkable to see that women are
still affected by this into their mid-40s... child abuse can throw off your
point of reference for what's right and wrong, as do many types of trauma.
A person learns things from being abused - the wrong things. If they're
never taught that what happened to them was wrong they may judge other
aspects of their life based off of what they've learned.
Nov 20, 2008 12:18 PM
Guest :
I fully agree with this article. I was fine, I survived, I got out ran
away even. Now I am 40 years old. I live in another country, with a good
marriage and 5 of my own children. I do buy more of the things I
couldnt have as a child. This includes animals. Once I hit 38
something happened to me. Every single day I had flash backs, and now my
anxiety is so high for the first time in my life I had to get help because
I was scared I was going to have a stroke. Now I hate sex, I have
been having sex for 35 years, and I am sick of it. I dont see it as love I
see it as somewhere to park a penis. Lucky for my kids though, I do
NOT repeat anything that happened to me. But I do find myself - forcing my
own body and mind every day to do adult things. I dont like cleaning I
dont like paying bills, I am worn out. Its true, women in thier 40's
revert back to thier missed childhood when they get older. Men do too. I
have seen it.
Mar 11, 2009 7:19 PM
Guest :
I was abused physically as a child, and molested by 'friends' of the
family. Due to the molestations and abuse...i find myself emotionally
detaching from the people i love who try to touch me. My boyfriend and iu
got serious physically and i would find myself losing interest in him or
becoming very anxious when we were physical...I'm trying to let go of all
of that so i can lead a new life. This article seems like it can help
me Thank you so much for reaching out to the people who are to afraid.
Mar 13, 2009 10:44 PM
Guest :
I've just read the post dated Nov 20, 2008 and she sounds just like me!!
Almost anyway. I was never sexually abused, but I was physically abused for
13 yrs, including torture, terrorising, daily violent attacks and two
serious attempts on my life. That's not to mention my watching these same
things being done to my wonderful, courageous older sister. I'm 37
now, and have in the last 12 months, begun to have flashbacks. I won't call
them memories, because they're more than that. Flashbacks actually put you
right back there, where the emotions, the fear and the horror are very real
and very current. You don't remember how it felt, you actually FEEL it,
like it is happening to you right now. I haven't gone to find help as
I'm trying to manage it on my own, but it's so true - you do ok for a few
years, even a couple of decades, then all of a sudden it all comes back to
hit you like a tsunami, and it's like it all only happened yesterday. Fears
you had forgotten return in full force, emotional hurt you thought you had
dealt with, returns with full force, and you feel as vulnerable and lost as
you did when this was all happening to you. I don't know why it
happens. I, like other poeple, thought that the older you get, the less of
this stuff you carry with you, but it's the opposite. The longer you live,
the more you realise just how unfair, cruel, unjust and criminal the way
you were treated was...and you start to wonder why you were left to deal
with it and protect yourself with no help from anyone, even though what was
happening was obvious. It's like you go through so much, and fight so hard
to just have a normal life, while others glide easily through childhood.
After all that extra hard work, you feel like there should be something
great waiting for you in adulthood - like there will be a reward for all
you went through and suffered. But there is no reward. You get the same
(often less) opportunities in adulthood that everyone else gets. There's no
special "reward" for making it, and for surviving and being able
to function with the memories, fear and terror you felt for so long. It's
the injustice that eats at me the most.
Jun 3, 2009 1:27 PM
Guest :
I was abused myself also. What has helped me so much throughout the years
has been joining a 12 step program for sex and love addiction, weekly
therapy for EMDR with a trusted therapist, journaling, exercise, talking
about it, having a good support system, lighting a candle when I'm down and
meditation. Even after 4-7 years of all this, which have helped me
tremendously, I still have times where the trauma that is still in my cell
memory needs to be released and when I started releasing a little, more
needed to keep being released. I know now that I will never graduate from
the healing work and have accepted that. Today, I have a beautiful
family. Things that I never thought I would have or deserved. I have broken
the family legacy of abuse and I am creating a whole new generation (my
children) of love and acceptance, and discipline without the need for any
form of abuse. I owe all that to the courage I have found through being a
survivor of all the abuse itself. I can't ever take it back, but I have
definitely developed wisdom and a sense of peace about it. I think
this is a good article if it helps anyone else out there.
Sep 1, 2009 11:04 AM
Guest :
Guest: Finally some people who admit that it's a life long curse and we
will never be totally healed.I too have stopped the cycle. I am a 57 year
old husband and father of two university students. I try to shield them
from as much as I can. I should be ecstatic being a part of something I
never had growing up. Wrong. Depression is my curse. Even my family own
can't give me the love and acceptance that I crave. Some of us are destined
to carry that weight I guess. Some days are easier than others. Try to
cope. Cheers
Oct 28, 2009 5:33 PM
Guest :
Hello from Australia to all the brave women who posted in response to this
helpful; albeit brief article. I am Executive Director for an organisation
in Australia called Heartfelt House. Our main mission is to support adult
survivors of childhood sexual abuse. We do this through a 18 week program
called Taking the First Steps. This program also encompasses workshops for
supporters of survivors. I am interested to know what help you have found
to be available to you in America. I am planning atrip to the U.S. in early
09 and would like to consult with like minded organisations. Once again
congratulations to all of you who posted...you are so very brave.
Feb 26, 2008
